STARSIGN
Aries the ram. Hey, I'm not trying to come across as some big horny dog or anything, it's just what Aries happens to be, okay?

BORN
Napier, New Zealand

EDUCATION
Patchy. I was in a number of foster homes before I ended up with a family near Tokoroa. The guy was a forestry worker so we used to move around a bit.

FAVOURITES
Sport
I can watch cheerleaders all day. As long as they're female.

Books
The Karma Sutra, the Joy of Sex,
FHM, Dr. Seuss,
Where the wild things are.

TV Shows
America's funniest Home Videos,
'Kung Fu' re-runs.

Food
Anything cooked by somebody else or brought to the door by a delivery guy.

Pastimes
Latin Dance classes (student).
Kung Fu (teacher).
Romancing beautiful women.
Spinning phat beats.

QUOTE
'Would you like fries with that, sir?'





I was working with a group of male strippers called the 'Studz'. It was a pretty cheesy act, I can tell you. Beware of anything that has a 'z' instead of 's' in its name. Anyway we used to work for this arsehole called Tony in (his club was called 'Reflectionz' -see what I mean?) and he refused to pay us a fee. Said we could earn a fortune in tips from lap-dancing around the tables. He was right, but it was bloody hard work, and there were hazards you didn't expect. Like the time I was lap dancing for this rich-looking city woman. It was clear she was really getting off on my moves and eventually she reached into her wallet and pulled out two new, crisp $100 bills. I gave her my winning smile. She smiles back, folds the bills and stuffs them - really hard - into my G-string. The pointy corners of the paper gouged right into my kn.... ah, the most tender, part of my penis. I started howling - I was in agony. Then the woman got pissy and said she wanted her money back.